Friday, October 23, 2020

You decide your own worth


There are people who thinks; 
"Why did Ammu broke the relationship in the name of a slap,eventhough Vikram feels guilty?"
"Vikram had realized his mistake,it would have been very nice if the film ended with reunited couples".

For one looking from outside,Shashi from 'English Vinglish' is a happy homemaker.But one can see Shashi being humiliated multiple times at home.Her husband's cruel remark "My wife was meant to make laddos" is epitome of these humiliations.His frequent 'jokes' on her English speaking skills and lack of knowledge about outside world made the children to believe their mother is an unworthy lady.All these negative remarks convinced her she is incapable. 

Nirupama's story(How old are you) is also a compelling one.She had some internal conflicts within herself, actually she hates her present - these daily routine of home and office doesn't makes her alive.But she was ignorant to these fact for long.Her husband was not a supporting one.He never listened to her talks about dreams and office chores,whenever she shares her happiness,he considered them as non-sense and treated contemptly.

Shashi always feels there's something wrong in the way her husband treats her,but she dismisses her feelings because all his remarks made her doubt her own intuition.Nirupama in her college days,was an enthusiastic and daring girl and her teachers kept great expectations in her,but however after marriage she got confined to her limitations.She was saddened and humiliated when her husband  went abroad with their daughter disclosing that he fears that their daughter would growup like her.

We can see Shashi and Nirupama at some phases struggling to find dignity and respect at home.The moment Shashi realizes that she deserves to be treated with respect even if she cannot speak in English and the moment when Nirupama decides to go ahead with her plans,they both learned that our true self is something that makes us unique,never try to change it for anyone.Everything went very well after that:)

After that slap,Amritha became aware of all the unfair things that she was ignoring since long.In the climax when Vikram apologized,audience may have thought she will change her decision.
Yes! Its there where Thappad became distinct.Amritha cannot compromise,and she cannot let it go.It is not about a slap,its more than that.
Movie showed us how we sink in responsibilities for being a good homemaker by forgetting our desires and self esteem.Its about how our adjustments leads to a series of compromises which destroys our own happiness.
You are still an individual after marriage,you can start over again,you can make your own decisions.Nirupama and Shashi is reborn when they realized  one's situation,status and money donot decides one's worth.
Its you who decides your worth.











Saturday, October 10, 2020

On her Big day!

I have always wondered Why marriage is considered as an important thing in one's life?
Why people call it 'her big day?'
(His big day is an uncommon term,right?!)
Why we spend too much on wedding?(Sometimes it took family's whole savings)
In Amazon prime series 'Made in heaven' Kabir asks the audience "Why is a girl's wedding the biggest day of her life?"
It has always been 'girl's biggest day.'
'Her big day'- we have seen this in  advertisements of jwelleries,wedding dresses etc.If marriage is a sacred union of two souls,then why its called 'her big day' not 'their big day.'
I haven't seen no parents urging their son to get married before he is settled.
Doesn't this applies to a girl?
Why there is an urge to get married within 25?

We can see parents setting aside all their savings for child's marriage and keeping track on gold rate since the day she is born.
When did the jwellery became an inevitable constituent of wedding?
Here bride's family's 'capability' is measured on the basis of how much gold she has.
We all know asking for dowry is illegal,so we don't ask;
 'we just give' it in the form of gold and other wedding gifts depending on the status of groom's family.If the groom is rich,then its mandatory to provide more.There are many parents who has ended up in debts after daughter's marriage
Is this to make their daughters comfortable in their new home?

Statements like 'Now she is in safe hands' and 'You can study after marriage' are awful.
Dear parents,
She has been safe in your hands for many years,don't make filmy announcements like 'Now' she is  safe.Make her feel secure by giving proper education and support.Don't raise her 
like a princess waiting for a kiss to wakeup from dream.Spend your money for something good,don't save it for setting up wrong standards.Teach them to stand tall and speak up for themselves.
                      

You decide your own worth

There are people who thinks;  "Why did Ammu broke the relationship in the name of a slap,eventhough Vikram feels guilty?...